I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
