you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
