you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
