Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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