how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
