is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
