Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
