What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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