At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
