Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
