3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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