haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
