this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Green mimosas i think yes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
