if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
