I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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