oh god the rape fog is back!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
