I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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