even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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