Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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