What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
