I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
