Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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