How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
