When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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