y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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