I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
