I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize