So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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