yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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