My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
