you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
