Heybabeimwearingurpanties
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
