I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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