She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
