and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
