This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize