those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
