Grow some girl-balls and come out already
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
