I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
