Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
