We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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