And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
