Where did you get a picture of my penis
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
