I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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