I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Randomize
