My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
