I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
