I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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