just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
