just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
