She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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