OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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