What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
