just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
