I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
