I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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