fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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