I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
