Kiss
Puke
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
