the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
