508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
