So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
