Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
