That's when you crack a 10am beer
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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