what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
